A Champion for Mental Health: Why Danielle O’Toole’s AUX Title Is a Blueprint for Others
Top StoriesPerhaps the greatest moment of joy Danielle O’Toole experienced during Athletes Unlimited AUX came immediately after she clinched the competition’s inaugural championship.
Granted, that might seem an unnecessarily obvious place to begin. But understand the moment we’re talking about, the moment immediately after Courtney Gano’s 10th-inning grand slam ensured O’Toole would remain atop the leaderboard.
Not the moment when anyone handed her a medal. Not when she got any bonus check. Not even when she had time to process that she had won. It was that first moment, when friend and former Olympic teammate Anissa Urtez grabbed her face and her husband darn near squeezed the air out of her lungs while lifting her off the ground in celebration.
The greatest joy came in that moment, surrounded by her friends. Her people. The joy in that moment wasn’t the result of winning the championship. The championship was the result of seeking that joy. O’Toole didn’t come back from the mental and physical toll of a difficult Olympic experience and a rotator cuff injury because she wanted to win games or even titles. She came back to have fun with her friends.
When she was young, O’Toole heard the same message from her parents that athletes the world over hear from parents, coaches and mentors. The game is 90 percent mental. She filed it away alongside all the other advice as she ascended to the greatest heights the sport offers. As she became an All-American, then an Olympian and a professional athlete.
Yet it was only in the past year that she understood what those oft-repeated words meant.
“I thought they were talking about the mental side of the game,” O’Toole said. “Now, I understand it’s about life. You only get one. So why are we going to live through pain like that?”
For O’Toole, what on paper shaped up as the best year of any softball player’s life began ominously enough. She was diagnosed with a torn rotator cuff in early spring of 2021. With the delayed Olympics finally approaching, there were no good options. She could either skip what for this generation was literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, letting down her teammates in the process, or try to play through a debilitating injury. She chose the latter. She sought a couple of cortisone shots and took the ball for the summer.
Arriving in Japan with high hopes, Team Mexico lost to Canada by a run in the bronze medal game. O’Toole, who finished the tournament with a 1.24 ERA injury despite the injury, took the loss. Disappointment on the field was compounded when players faced criticism, fuel for the seemingly daily cycle of viral outrage, about apparel left behind in the Olympic Village.
“For myself and the rest of my teammates, our Olympic journey was not what we wanted it to be,” O’Toole said. “It was really difficult to be a part of. I’m glad I went through it with them, because if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t have been able to get through any of it.”
She still felt it was important to pitch in Athletes Unlimited. She had signed a contract long before the Olympics. More than that, she thought the league, which featured not only multiple U.S. Olympians but numerous players from the Canadian and Mexican teams, was important for the sport as it tried to capitalize on the fleeting Olympic spotlight.
But her arm was shot. She gave up nine home runs and had a 9.90 ERA in 23 innings. A year after being one of the best pitchers in the league’s debut season, she finished 58th out of 61 players in 2021.
Her mental health, already something that concerned her before the Olympics, also deteriorated further. By the end of the summer, mentally, she was “in one of the worst places I think it has ever been.” For a time after the AU season, she didn’t want to talk to anyone or do anything.
She also wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to play again. Her relationship with softball had grown complicated in the years since finishing her time at Arizona. But through the offseason, she came to the conclusion that she didn’t want last summer to be the end. She had to rehab her arm, but she also had to take care of the person attached to the arm. She worked with a sports psychologist who had helped her through difficult times before the Olympics. She saw a regular therapist, as well. She explored small changes, like working with a nutritionist for a healthier lifestyle.
“Just because it’s mental pain doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” O’Toole said of that recovery process. “Just because it doesn’t look like I’m bleeding out or actually hurting, I am. It was awful. I hope that people see it and little girls understand how important it is to take care of yourself.”
A college assistant at Cal State Fullerton in recent seasons and a pitching instructor who gives lessons to young athletes, she speaks for some experience with regard to the latter concern.
“Travel ball is getting crazy,” O’Tooe said. “I hope some of these parents and coaches truly understand the detriments our sport can have on you – but also the positivity and light that it can bring.”
O’Toole acknowledged that she entered this summer expecting, if not necessarily definitively planning for, AUX and the upcoming AU championship season to mark the end of her pro softball journey. She would finish on her terms, whatever results that brought, and move on. After winning AUX, she isn’t quite shutting the door on options beyond this summer. But not just because she was the best pitcher in San Diego, compiling a 1.69 ERA in 28 innings, while the batters who faced her over and over again for two weeks hit just .206 against her.
She didn’t come back to be the best. She won’t stay because she won a title. For now, and for as long as chooses to continue, she plays because she gets to go to work with her friends.
“I felt like I could really breathe, and I felt like I could be happy and just enjoy this season with my friends,” O’Toole said. “That was the goal coming into this. I wasn’t trying to win or be on top. I was trying to have a good time with my friends, my people.”
She happened to pitch well enough to share one more memory with them at the end.